(Excerpted from Jim Rohn’s 2004 Weekend Leadership Event)

You have to be very careful of scolding. Scolding, as a last resort, may be necessary but you must be very careful. Scolding someone is like giving them a cut, giving them a small cut with your words on the hand. Maybe it will serve its purpose, and the cut will heal and everything will be okay. You needed to get their attention. But you must not do it everyday, all the time.

Some children end up with psychological scars because they have been cut (scolded) everyday. Scold, scold everyday and they wind up psychologically disadvantaged because of that kind of treatment. Because somebody has the words, but words that are cruel; and they use them too often, all the time rather than saving them up as a tool of last resort. They just cut and scold all the time, and kids sometimes have a hard time working out of this because of that kind of environment.

“Too severe, it’s too severe”, we say. In some countries if you steal, they cut off your hand. In our country we’d say, “That’s a bit too severe isn’t it?” But guess what they say, “It is very effective.”

Ask someone who has stolen, “Did you ever steal anything else?” And most assuredly they will answer, “Are you kidding with just one hand – No!” So it is effective, but we say too severe.

So parents, let me talk to you about cruel and unusual scolding. You must be gifted in thinking of ways to effectively communicate with your children. Now sometime severity is needed as a last, last resort. John Kennedy’s father, “Old Joe”, said this to John, and you will see when I give it to you that it will serve you in so many ways. Now here is what “Old Joe” said: “If it is not necessary to change, it is necessary not the change.” I am sure you got that message now.

If it is not absolutely necessary to scold, then it is necessary not to scold. If it is not necessary to use sarcasm, then it is necessary in your communication not to use sarcasm. If it is not necessary to get angry, then it is necessary not to get angry; you get the idea.

If a parent screams all day at her children, the kids finally get used to it. They learn to say, “Momma, she just screams all day.” Kids come over to visit and the kids say, “Don’t mind Momma, she’s just a screamer, she just screams all day.” So the kids are just used to it. But now here is the big problem… when the 3-year old child heads for the street and a truck is coming and Momma screams; and nobody pays any attention.

See Momma should save up her screams, so the day it becomes a necessary tool of last resort, and she does scream, the world stops! See that’s the key. These are called, “Tools of Last Resort”, use them well!

To Your Success,

Jim Rohn

Life is about constant, predictable patterns of change. For the six thousand years of recorded history, as humans have entered this world, received parental instruction, classroom instruction, and gathered the experience of life; many have set for themselves ambitious goals, and dreamed lofty dreams.

As the wheel of life continues its constant turning, all human emotions appear, disappear, and appear once again.

A major challenge faced by us all is that we must learn to experience the changing of life’s cycles without being changed by them; to make a constant and conscious effort to improve ourselves in the face of changing circumstances.

That is why I believe in the power and value of attitude. As I read, ponder and speculate about people, their deeds and their destiny, I become more deeply convinced that it is our natural destiny to grow, to succeed, to prosper, and to find happiness while we are here.

By our attitude, we decide to read, or not to read. By our attitude, we decide to try or give up. By our attitude, we blame ourselves for our failure, or we blame others. Our attitude determines whether we tell the truth or lie, act or procrastinate, advance or recede, and by our own attitude we and we alone actually decide whether to succeed or fail.

How incredibly unique that a God who would create the complex and immense universe would create the human race and give to those humans the free choice that would permit them to select their own achievement or their own destruction.

This strange, but all-knowing God gave to us a delicately balanced sphere called earth. On it, he placed the intelligent human who would either develop it or destroy it. How terribly fascinating that a God would leave both projects – earth as well as humans – unfinished! Across the rivers and streams he built no bridges; he left the pictures unpainted, the songs unsung, the books unwritten, and space unexplored. For the accomplishment of those things, God created the unfinished human who, within his heart and mind, had the capacity to do all these things and more, depending upon his own choice.

Attitude determines choice, and choice determines results. All that we are, and all that we can become has indeed been left unto us. For as long as you continue to draw breath, you have the chance to complete the work in and for the earth and for yourself that God has begun for you. In the cycles and seasons of life, attitude is everything!

(Next week we will look at both winter and spring as we continue our review of the Seasons of Life)

To Your Success,

Jim Rohn

I have found that sometimes the subtle difference in our attitude, which of course can make a major difference in our future, can be as simple as the language we use. The difference in even how you talk to yourself or others. Consciously making a decision to quit saying what you don’t want and to start saying what you do want. I call that faith. Believing the best, hoping for the best and moving toward the best.

A few examples could be, instead of saying, “What if somebody doesn’t respond” you start saying, “What if they do respond?” Instead of saying, “What if someone says no?” You say, “What if they say yes?” Instead of “What if they start and quit?” say, “What if they start and stay?” or “What if it doesn’t work out?” You say, “What if it does work out?” and the list goes on and on.

I found that when you start thinking and saying what you really want then your mind automatically shifts and pulls you in that direction. And sometimes it can be that simple, just a little twist in vocabulary that illustrates your attitude and philosophy.

Our language can also affect how others perform and behave around us. A teenager says to a parent, “I need $10.” And if the parents learn to say, “No comprende. That kind of language doesn’t work here. We’ve got plenty of money, but that’s not how you get $10.” Then you teach your teenager how to ask, “How can I earn $10?”

That is the magic of words. There is plenty of money here. There is money for everybody, but you just have to learn the magic words to get them. For everything you could possibly want. If you just learn the philosophy. How could I earn $10? Because you can’t go to the soil and say, “Give me a harvest.” You know the soil smiles and says, “Who is this clown that brings me his need and brings me no seed.” And if you said to the soil, “I’ve got this seed and if I planted it, would you work while I sleep?” And the soil says, “No problem. Give me the seed. Go to sleep and I’ll be working while you’re sleeping.”

If you just understand these simple principles, teaching them to a teenager (or adult) is sometimes just a matter of language. It’s like an investment account instead of a savings account. Simple language, but so important. It is easy to stumble through almost a lifetime and not learn some of these simplicities. Then you have to put up with all the lack and all the challenges that don’t work out simply from not reading the book, not listening to the tape, not sitting in the class, not studying your language and not being willing to search so you can then find.

But here is the great news. You can start this process anytime. For me it was at age 25. At 25 I’m broke. Six years later I’m a millionaire. Somebody says, “What kind of revolution, what kind of change, what kind of thinking, what kind of magic had to happen? Was it you?” And I say, “No. Any person, any six years, 36 to 42, 50 to 56. Whatever six years; whatever few years you go on an intensive, accelerated personal development curve, learning curve, application curve, and learning the disciplines. Now, it might not take the same amount of time, but I’m telling you the same changes and the same rewards in some different fashion are available for those who pay that six year price. And you might find that whether it’s in the beginning to help get you started, or in the middle to keep you on track, that your language can have a great impact on your attitude, actions and results.

To Your Success,

Jim Rohn

(excerpted from the Take Charge of Your Life 6 CD series)

Here is a good question to ask yourself. Ten years from now you will surely arrive. The question is, where? We don’t want to kid ourselves about where; we don’t want to kid ourselves about the road we’re walking.

At age 25, I had a day shortly after I met Mr. Schoaff called “do not kid myself anymore” day. I didn’t want to be disillusioned anymore. Up until then, I had been using the crossed-finger theory. But after meeting Mr. Schoaff, I finally decided that the crossed-finger theory was not going to get me what I wanted. That it wasn’t where the treasure lies. That I was going to have to make sure which way I was headed

Then, with the help of Mr. Schoaff, I found with a few reading disciplines, and a few disciplines of mind, and a few disciplines of activity, that when exercised, can begin making all the difference in the world as to where you will arrive.

Just a few changes. Sometimes we get the idea that we’re doing about 10% and there’s about 90% more that we need in order to make the difference for our fortune but probably the opposite is true. We’re doing enough things to have bought and shared in the good life so far. And maybe all we need is that extra 5% or 10% of intellectual change. Activity change. A refinement of discipline. A refinement of thought. And all we need is the ideas to make those simple changes and the equity starts gathering in one year, three years, five years, ten years.

I have a good comment for you: Now’s the time to fix the next 10 years. Now, you may have to come to grips with reality and with truth; that’s what was good for me when I met Mr. Schoaff, I was 25 years old, he was 44 years old. And he brought me a wealth of experience and he started asking me the tough questions. “Big question”, he said, “Are you reading the books that are going to take you where you want to go in the next 5 years?”

Excellent question. See, you want to make sure. I would assume for all of you, to get to where you want to be in the next 5 years, you are either reading the right books or you’re not. You’re either engaged in the disciplines or you’re not. But, here’s what we don’t want to engage in: disillusion. Hoping without acting. Wishing without doing.

The key is to take a look and say, “Where am I? What could I do to make the changes to make sure that I can take more certain daily steps toward the treasure I want, the mental treasure, the personal treasure, the spiritual treasure, the financial treasure? I don’t want to make any more errors, now’s the time to adjust my daily program to take me where I want to go.”

In lecturing the last 39 years, I’ve gotten letters and personal testimonies of people that have done such remarkable things with just a few suggestions. And that is why seminars, tapes and books can be so valuable. Here’s a key idea for us all to remember: We could all use a little coaching. When you’re playing the game, it’s sometimes hard to see it all.

But the key is to start right now making these changes to walk this new road. And here’s what’s exciting to me, just a few daily disciplines makes a great deal of difference in one year, three years, five years. And before you know it, you will be walking a brand new road.

To Your Success,

Jim Rohn

Complaining. There’s room for legitimate complaining, but if you let this deadly disease of attitude – complaining – loose, it will conquer you. Complaining can take over your life. Destroy you and leave you without anything.

Nobody wants to take along a complainer. Nobody wants to promote a complainer. Nobody wants to live with one. Nobody wants to be a partner of one. Nobody wants to have one around.

Complaining leaves you out of more opportunities than you can possibly imagine if you let it take over and grab you by the throat. If you don’t think complaining is bad ask the children of Israel of Old Testament fame. Now let me say something right here, they are typical of us all (if we had ourselves in a similar position); their story just happened to get in the Book.

The story says that the children of Israel are slaves in Egypt. God performed a series of dazzling miracles and gets them out. Now they have their freedom and are heading for the Promised Land. But… the tragedy of the story – they never got there. Reason – from day one they started to complain.

They griped about the food – they had just been delivered from slavery and they are complaining about the food?! They complained and cried and griped about the water. In the desert they HAD water to drink, but… it didn’t taste that good?! They complained about the leadership… that had just delivered them from slavery?! They complained that it was too hot, too cold, too far, too difficult, too rocky. They cried for years – forty to be exact. Finally, God said I’ve had it – trip cancelled!

The story says that they died in the desert and never reached the Promised Land – after all that trouble! I believe this story teaches two things:

1) Indulge in complaining long enough and you will get your future cancelled – future promotions, future opportunities.

2) Even God himself can only take so much complaining.

I think you get my point. Complaining is not for the winners in life. You must focus on what you can do, not what you cannot. And you must focus on the opportunities not the difficulties. When you do this you will not only inspire yourself but you will be an example for others to follow as well.

To Your Success,

Jim Rohn

We must never allow a day to pass without finding the answers to a list of important questions such as: What is going on in our industry? What new challenges are currently facing our government? Our community? Our neighborhood? What are the new breakthroughs, the new opportunities, the new tools and techniques that have recently come to light? Who are the new personalities that are influencing world and local opinion?

We must become good observers and astute evaluators of all that is going on around us. All events affect us, and what affects us leaves an imprint on what we will one day be and how we will one day live.

One of the major reasons why people are not doing well is because they keep trying to get through the day. A more worthy challenge is to try to get from the day. We must become sensitive enough to observe and ponder what is happening around us.

Be alert.

Be awake.

Let life and all of its subtle messages touch us. Often, the most extraordinary opportunities are hidden among the seemingly insignificant events of life. If we do not pay attention to these events, we can easily miss the opportunities.

So be a good observer of both life and the world around you.

To Your Success,

Jim Rohn

In this six CD, 12 lesson program, motivational master Jim Rohn shares the story of his life changing day with you, and shows you how to consciously create the conditions that make dramatic lasting personal transformation not only possible, but inevitable. Jim’s life changing day involved an incident with a Girl Scout. That incident led him on a journey to heights of fame and fortune that few of us will ever achieve. Have you had that life changing day yet, or are you still waiting?

Some people waste years, and even their entire lives waiting for that magic moment that will change their lives for the better. But those people whose lives really do change in dramatic ways, can almost always trace the change back to something much simpler than magic. One moment, one realization, one action, one step that put them on a completely different path – and ultimately led them to their dreams.

The good news is that once you understand the four emotional states that can change your life, you can generate them within yourself at will, rather than waiting for external circumstances to activate them.

Let’s look at the 6 CD’s of this great program. Each CD is divided into two sessions, making 12 sessions in all. Here are some tidbits from the sessions:

Session One – “Today is a New Day” – Jim shares with you the day that turned his life around, and talks about life’s adventures – the little devil on one shoulder and the little angel on the other – both giving advice. What voice do you listen to? He ends the session with a story about “making something out of nothing.”

Session Two – “The Major Ingredients of Life Change” – Jim talks about emotions that can change your life, and shares some philosophies to live by including; “Profits are better than wages – Wages make you a living, profits can make you a fortune”, and one of my favorites “Don’t wish it were easier, wish you were better.”

Session Three and Session Four – “How to Make a Life, Not Just a Living” – Jim’s short list on the good life, and words of wisdom including “Beware of what and who you become, in pursuit of what you want.”

Session Five – “The Pro vs. The Amateur; Keys to Thriving in Tough Times” – Jim shares his greatest setbacks and what he did to bounce back – and, by showing the difference between the professional and the amateur response to problems – shows how you can do it too.

Session Six – “Financial Strategies for a New Age” – Jim’s philosophical foundation for financial independence, and his suggestions for achieving wealth along with giving and sharing. Stuff they don’t teach in school, and good advice parents should pass along to their kids.

Session Seven – “How to Protect Your Time” – Time management essentials to help you reach your goals. How to avoid “Being online but off-track”.

Session Eight – “Where the True Wealth Lies” – Identifying your core values, nurturing your “inner circle” and the challenge of balancing work and family life and becoming a World-class” parent and grandparent.

Session Nine – “The Goal Setting Workshop” – Great session. Jim actually takes you through a personal goal setting workshop from one of his weekend seminars.

Session Ten – “Success Can Be Simple” – Jim’s simple approach to life learned from “Things my mama taught me” and how he uses hard and fast decisions to simplify his life.

Session Eleven – “The Magic of a Mentor” – Although I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting Jim personally, through his books and programs he has been one of my mentors for many years, and I can attest to the “Magic of a Mentor” he discusses in this session. He goes on to show how you too can be a mentor, and make a difference in the lives of others.

Session Twelve – “Leadership Skills for the 21st Century” – The skills of leadership wisdom presented with witty sayings like “Don’t expect a pear tree to bear apples” and ending with the story of the frog and the scorpion (“that’s what scorpions do”).

In summary, if you are you are dissatisfied or unhappy with your life, and would like to change it, “The Day That Turns Your Life Around” will give you the tools to make any change you want to. And, as Jim says, you will be astonished by how quickly and easily it happens. I highly recommend this program. It can turn your life around!