There is a flip side to the much advertised holiday joy, optimism, hope, generosity, peace on earth and good will to all. For some there is a dark side present known as the holiday blues. It can be filled with self criticism, loneliness, self doubt, stress, anxiety and pessimism.

The images of happy couples and happy families all having the perfect holiday may be a trigger for a spiraling down-hill road of self judgment and emotional pain. These constant images and reminders of happiness can be painful and unsettling or even intense emotional triggers to others. The solution is to recognize your triggers, find ways to respond to these triggers so you can turn them into a positive and have realistic expectations and attainable goals for the festive season. However, it is best to consult a doctor when the feelings of the “blues” linger on for more than a couple of weeks. In which case it may be depression. Left untreated, depression can become a serious and life-threatening disorder.

A number of factors can contribute to the “holiday blues,” including stress, fatigue, troubled family relationships, loss of a loved one, lack of sunlight, images in the media, unrealistic expectations and financial constraints. These factors may lead to feelings of sadness, loneliness, stress, anger or tension. There may be changes in sleep patterns, a lack of energy, headaches, agitation, anxiety, diminished interest in favorite activities, or excessive drinking, eating and feelings of guilt. While others may not feel as fulfilled as one would wish, others get stuck in the blame game, comparing themselves with others and indulging in a pity party “They all look so happy and prosperous why can’t I be, what’s wrong with me?”

Emotional pain is part of being human and we want to be aware of and feel our emotions. Learn from them and let them go. Experts tell us that depression is often frozen anger or grief. You may want to be aware of the symptoms of “depression” and know when you need to get medical help. You can do an on-line self-help test to see where you are. There are several quizzes – Self Assessment Quiz at www.journeyofthehearts.org/jofh/selfdep.htm and the Wakefield Questionnaire www.journeyofthehearts.org/jofh/sakefield.htm available at Journey of the Hearts online healing place. This site is helps those visiting to assess their level of depression.

Here are some coping strategies for dealing with the blues. Remember to make up your own list that you can have on hand and ready to refer to whenever you recognize the feelings of the “Blues” surfacing. Do something on your list and if it doesn’t work try another on the list. If you get to the stage where nothing seems to be helping it’s time to consider an assessment for depression.

1. Choose to surround yourself with supportive and positive people and limit as much as possible your time with negative family, friends or colleagues. If this is difficult choose to change the subject to one that is positive. They will soon get the message or back off. Remember misery loves misery!

2. Give. Yes go give your time and help at a charity or nursing home. It’s amazing how much better you can feel when you give of yourself and help others who are less fortunate than yourself. This is also a wonderful way to rekindle the true spirit of Christmas with the act of selfless giving.

3. If feeling lonely, look at ways to make new friends – join a new club, organization, sports group or self help group or group of interest eg. Knitting, book reading, bicycling, bush walking. Do something you haven’t before. Extend yourself to make new friends. But find something that you have an interest in.

4. Set healthy limits when socializing or attending work or family functions. Make a deal with yourself, for example, to have one small slice of cake and one alcoholic drink and avoid the rounds of nibbles. Give yourself strategies you can put into place when out so you don’t offend your host and don’t overindulge so you feel fatigued and heavy.

5. Set realistic goals and expectations for the holidays. You don’t have to say yes to every invitation. You don’t have to have all your friends over for dinners and parties. Set up a budget and plan ahead with a to do list for each month leading up to the holidays so you wont be overwhelmed when they arrive. Think about and write a list of gifts that don’t involve money such as time, support and sharing of memories such as visiting a relative, sharing photos and memories, reading an inspirational Christmas story with your family each night.

6. Try a new practice to overcome harsh self criticism. Sit, close your eyes and think about a part of you that you find hard to accept or find yourself criticizing. Think of someone that you admire or respect. Visualize them fully accepting you just the way you are, forgiving you for not accepting yourself and telling you you are ok. Then think about the gift in this learning. Ask yourself how it can make you into a better person by accepting and loving this part of you. What is it wanting to teach you about life – look for the positive – it will heal you and make you stronger.

7. Learn how to meditate it can be a good way to get in touch with feelings and a way to release stress in the body and mind. You can start now even by closing your eyes and deeply breathing for 5 -10 minutes each day and watching your thoughts and allowing them to drift off.

8. Find joys to uplift you. Write out a list of things that you remember to be pleasurable. For example it could simply be making a hot chocolate and sipping it as you, take time out and watch the birds in a tree for 5 minutes. It may be watching a funny movie, playing a piece of uplifting music or reading a chapter from a favorite inspirational book.

9. Take up some form of exercise. Experts now tell us that some form of movement 30 minutes four to five times a week can be an effective anti-depressant. Try yoga, an exercise class at a gym, join a walking club or just commit to turn off the TV and go for a vigorous walk each night. Try different types of exercise until you find one your like then commit to it each week. Not only will you feel better emotionally but you will be physically healthier too.

10. Practice gratitude. Value your life, your experiences and the people around you. When you walk remember all that you have to be grateful for and remember to be grateful for the time you have had with loved ones you may have lost this year.

Visit http://www.TheFamilyYak.com to listen to ‘Conversations with Mrs Claus’ podcast show with Mrs Claus (aka Christmas author Bernadette Dimitrov) – a family show that provides a weekly stream ofinspiration, insight and connection to fascinating guests world-wide. Listeners can share in the inspirational insights from experts and coaches about life, Christmas and transformational secrets for living a happy and fulfilled life. It’s a fun show with something for both young and old with prizes to be won! Also come visit http://www.HoHoHoChristmas.com and join ourr free Christmas newsletter & receive free gifts!

(Excerpted From the 2001 Jim Rohn Millennium Weekend Event – Jim Rohn/Zig Ziglar VIP Lunch)

Someone once said to me that success isn’t everything and I think I know what they really meant. I believe they really meant that money wasn’t everything and I certainly agree with that. But I do believe that success IS everything.

First you need to succeed to survive. We must take the seasons and learn how to use them with the seed, the soil and the rain of opportunity to learn how to sustain ourselves and our family. But then second is to then succeed to flourish in every part of your life.

Good question to ask mature people “If you could do better should you?” And I thing almost everybody would answer the question in the positive.

If you could improve your health shouldn’t you do that? If you can learn more shouldn’t you do that?

If you could earn more and share more, shouldn’t you do that? If you can improve your relationships and spirituality shouldn’t you do that? And I think that is what success is really all about. It is not just a destination that is set for everybody to try and go for.

It is like Zig said, “improving in every area of your life to see if you can’t with satisfaction at the end of the day, week, month and year and say ‘I have made excellent progress this year, for myself, for my family, for my business, my career and my health’”.

I think that kind of success everybody recognizes is legitimate and something we should all strive for.

Interesting phrase in the bible that says strive for perfection – not that we can ever reach it. But it is in the striving, to be a little bit better today than yesterday, in our speech, our language, our health, everything we can possibility think of.

So yes, in my opinion Success is Everything!

To Your Success,

Jim Rohn

The holidays are upon us; a time of celebration and joy. I love the last days of November through the beginning of the New Year. The pure magic of the holidays is something that I anticipate and enjoy each and every year.

For some though, the holidays have lost the joy and excitement they at other times have had. The pace of life has grown so fast – much faster than those first holidays I remember in my life – that some people don’t enjoy the times they get to spend with their family and friends during what is supposed to be days filled with joy and peace.

Why is that? Probably a lot can be laid at the feet of how fast paced our times are, but that isn’t all.

I believe our holiday times should be wonderful and filled with lasting and enjoyable moments and memories. So how can we ensure that we come out of the holidays in January with great memories of the past month? Here are six thoughts that will help you experience the holidays the way they were intended to be experienced:

1. Be Temperate.

Holidays can be days of excess for many — too much food, too many cookies and treats. Too much chocolate, schedules that are too busy. One thing that will help you enjoy the holidays is to be temperate. Enjoy the food. Enjoy the treats. Enjoy the busy schedule of activities and parties. But also be disciplined enough to know when to hold back, when to say, “no”. When we go overboard we regret it and loose the opportunity to fully experience that moment. But when we enjoy a little and refrain from going too far, then we can enjoy all that little piece of time has to offer.

2. Lower Your Expectations.

Much of the frustration people experience from the holidays is from setting their expectations too high. They expect too much from friends or family, and when they don’t get what they want, they get frustrated. They expect presents to be perfect and when they aren’t, they get frustrated or disappointed. Instead of having huge expectations this holiday season, just take it as it comes and enjoy what you can. And this brings me to my next point.

3. Enjoy What You Can and Ignore the Rest.

This holiday season, go with an attitude of knowing that things will be what they will be. You can’t control other people or their actions. If a family member pushes the limits of your patience, ignore that and instead focus on how much you can enjoy the time you have with other family members. If things don’t go perfectly – which they won’t – then enjoy what you can and let the rest slide. You will feel a lot better about life if you can take all things a little easier.

4. Stay Out of Debt.

Debt is a killer. It will steal your enjoyment of life. Be sure to stay within your financial boundaries this holiday season. The last thing you want is to start the New Year with a deeper burden financially. Know where you are financially and stay within those limits. You don’t have to impress anyone, just buy gifts that you can afford and express your heartfelt feeling in the giving of the gift.

5. Take Time for Yourself.

Be sure that no matter how busy you get, that you take time for yourself. Take time to read. Take a long bath if that relaxes you. Take a walk. Spend some time of quiet in front of a fire. Don’t rush through the holidays and sap all of your energy. Your mind and body need to be reenergized, so be sure to take time to do so.

6. Focus on Your Spiritual Life.

Ultimately, no matter what tradition you come from, the holidays are historically days in which we focus on the spiritual. Men and women are created with a natural draw toward spiritual life. However, our culture today tends to stay away from a focus on the spiritual, and that has even crept into our holidays. Be sure to place an emphasis on building your spiritual life and growing in that area. This will help keep you grounded and able to deal with anything that may come your way.

Friends, we are coming to the end of another year. I have enjoyed this year immensely! This time of year is another chance to remember the important truths of life and to enjoy time with dear friends and family.

May you experience the very best this holiday season and move into January better than ever!

To your success, joy, and peace,

Jim Rohn

Each and every day, there are people all around the country and world who are living their dreams. Millionaires are made every day. Families are experiencing tremendous relationships. People are becoming more and more healthy. Life-long learners are growing intellectually and improving their chances for success.

The fact is that living the life of your dreams is possible. People prove that every day. Someone somewhere is going to get rich, get healthy and improve their life. My recommendation is this: Let it be you!

Have you ever wanted to make more money? Have you ever looked at someone who has money and wished that it could be you? People think about getting wealthy all of the time, when only a small percentage actually does. But any of the masses could. Someone is going to start a business. Someone is going to make a great investment. Someone is going to begin the journey to great wealth. So why not let it be you?

Someone is going to decide to improve their relationships. Someone is going to enjoy love with their family. Someone is going to schedule some meaningful time with their friends. So why not let it be you?

Someone is going to go back to school to improve their life. Someone is going to become a life-long learner. Someone is going to set a goal to read a book or listen to a cd each week for the next year. So why not let it be you?

Someone is going to look in the mirror and see that they need to lose a little weight and they will make the decision to become healthy. Someone will run their first marathon. Someone will join an aerobics class and improve their health. Why not let it be you?

I think that by now you get the point: Everyday people are improving their lives. Whether you do or not doesn´t matter to those who do. They are going to do it, regardless. It is simply a matter of a decision being made. Let that person be you!

You may be asking, “Okay Jim, but how?’ Well, let´s cover the very simple actions.

The first and most important is to make a commitment to work on yourself. Are you going to improve or stay the same? No matter what you have achieved, you are at a certain point right now. What you have achieved in the past is fine, but it doesn´t make a difference for the future. The decision about what you will become is made each day and every day. Each day someone is making the decision to better him or herself. Let that person be you!

The second is to make a plan. Once you have decided to become better you will have to have a plan. It doesn´t have to be a long, intricate plan. It can be simple. Save a dollar a day. Walk a mile a day. Read an article a day. That is a simple plan with achievable goals. Someone is going to develop a plan that will take them into the future of their dreams. Let it be you!

The third is to begin to act. All of the great ideas, without action, become stale and useless. The key to turning dreams into reality is action. People who have great ideas are a dime a dozen. People who act on their dreams and ideas are the select few, but they are the ones who gain the wealth, wealth and wisdom that is available. Someone will act today. Let it be you.

My encouragement to you is to stop looking at others who live the good life, wishing that you were as well, and instead begin to commit to your improvement, develop a plan and act on it. Someone is going to. Let it be you!

To Your Success,

Jim Rohn

Over the years as I’ve sought out ideas, principles and strategies to life’s challenges, I’ve come across four simple words that can make living worthwhile.

First, life is worthwhile if you Learn. What you don’t know Will hurt you. You have to have learning to exist, let alone succeed. Life is worthwhile if you learn from your own experiences – negative or positive. We learn to do it right by first sometimes doing it wrong. We call that a positive negative. We also learn from other people’s experiences, both positive and negative. I’ve always said that it is too bad failures don’t give seminars. Obviously, we don’t want to pay them so they aren’t usually touring around giving seminars. But that information would be very valuable – we would learn how someone who had it all then messed it up. Learning from other people’s experiences and mistakes is valuable information because we can learn what not to do without the pain of having tried and failed ourselves.

We learn by what we see so pay attention. We learn by what we hear so be a good listener. Now I do suggest that you should be a selective listener, don’t just let anybody dump into your mental factory. We learn from what we read so learn from every source; learn from lectures; learn from songs; learn from sermons; learn from conversations with people who care. Always keep learning.

Second, life is worthwhile if you Try. You can’t just learn; now you have to try something to see if you can do it. Try to make a difference, try to make some progress, try to learn a new skill, try to learn a new sport. It doesn’t mean you can do everything, but there are a lot of things you can do, if you just try. Try your best. Give it every effort. Why not go all out?

Third, life is worthwhile if you Stay. You have to stay from spring until harvest. If you have signed up for the day or for the game or for the project – see it through. Sometimes calamity comes and then it is worth wrapping it up. And that’s the end, but just don’t end in the middle. Maybe on the next project you pass, but on this one, if you signed up, see it through.

And lastly, life is worthwhile if you Care. If you care at all you will get some results, if you care enough you can get incredible results. Care enough to make a difference. Care enough to turn somebody around. Care enough to start a new enterprise. Care enough to change it all. Care enough to be the highest producer. Care enough to set some records. Care enough to win.

Four powerful little words: learn, try, stay and care. What difference can you make in your life today by putting these words to work?

To Your Success,

Jim Rohn

(Excerpted from the Jim Rohn Sampler single CD)

My first mentor, Mr. Shoaff, over a six-year period from the time I was 25 to age 31, taught me some extraordinarily simple things, before his untimely passing at age 49. He only went through the 9th grade in school. He never finished high school, never went to college, never went to a university. So he put his experiences and ideas in very simple language, which, I think for me – kid from the farms of Idaho – was so important. When I would say, “This is all the company pays.” Mr. Shoaff would say, “No, that is all they pay You.” I thought, “That is a new to look at it.” I told him things cost too much. But he said, “No, you can’t afford them.”

Well, that was a new concept for me. He promised that if I would improve, then I would qualify for more money. So I learned that we don’t have to work on the company, we have to work on ourselves. Now if it had been technical, I would have missed it. If it had been mystic, I would have backed away. But it was just basic, blunt “a-b-c” stuff that I hadn’t thought of before. For me it was the beginning of what he called “personal development”.

Mr. Shoaff also taught me that life puts some of the more valuable things on the high shelf so that you can’t get to them until you qualify. If you want the things on the high shelf, you must stand on the books you read. With every book you read, you get to stand a little higher.

And the “biggie” that forever had an impact on me, “Success is something you attract by the person you become.” That phrase changed my life. Success is not to be pursued, but to be attracted by the person you become. Put your energy into becoming a better you, the best you. Learn the skills. Practice the skills. Attract the success.

Those few simple strategies and ideas helped change my life, forever, for the better. Thank you, once again, Mr. Shoaff.

To Your Success,

Jim Rohn

To purchase The Jim Rohn Sampler CD in quantities of 1-9, 10-49, 50-99 and 100+ go to Jim Rohn Sampler CD or call 800-929-0434

Someone recently asked me the question: “How can I have more opportunities come into my life?” Good question, but I think my answer surprised them a bit.

I bypassed the obvious (and necessary) points about hard work, persistence and preparation. They actually were very hard workers. And they had the great attribute of being seekers, they were on the outlook. But I felt maybe they were missing this next and most valuable point – attraction.

I always thought opportunities and success were something you went after, then I found out that I needed to turn it around. Opportunities and success are not something you go after necessarily, but something you attract – by becoming an attractive person.

That’s why I teach development of skills. If you can develop your skills, keep refining all the parts of your character and yourself, your health, your relationships, etc. so that you become an attractive person to the marketplace – you’ll attract opportunity. Opportunity will probably seek you out. Your reputation will probably precede you and someone will want to do business with you. All of the possibilities are there by working on the philosophy that success is something you attract.

The key is to continue making yourself a more attractive person by the skills you have, the disciplines you have, the personality you’ve acquired, the character and reputation you have established, the language and speech you use – all of that refinement makes you more attractive to the marketplace.

Personal development – the never-ending chance to improve not only yourself, but also to attract opportunities and affect others.

To Your Success,

Jim Rohn

For every disciplined effort, there are multiple rewards. That’s one of life’s great arrangements. In fact, it’s an extension of the Biblical law that says that if you sow well, you will reap well.

Here’s a unique part of the Law of Sowing and Reaping. Not only does it suggest that we’ll all reap what we’ve sown, it also suggests that we’ll reap much more. Life is full of laws that both govern and explain behaviors, but this may well be the major law we need to understand: for every disciplined effort, there are multiple rewards.

What a concept! If you render unique service, your reward will be multiplied. If you’re fair and honest and patient with others, your reward will be multiplied. If you give more than you expect to receive, your reward is more than you expect. But remember: the key word here, as you might well imagine, is discipline.

Everything of value requires care, attention, and discipline. Our thoughts require discipline. We must consistently determine our inner boundaries and our codes of conduct, or our thoughts will be confused. And if our thoughts are confused, we will become hopelessly lost in the maze of life. Confused thoughts produce confused results.

Remember the law: “For every disciplined effort, there are multiple rewards.” Learn the discipline of writing a card or a letter to a friend. Learn the discipline of paying your bills on time, arriving to appointments on time, or using your time more effectively. Learn the discipline of paying attention, or paying your taxes or paying yourself. Learn the discipline of having regular meetings with your associates, or your spouse, or your child, or your parent. Learn the discipline of learning all you can learn, of teaching all you can teach, of reading all you can read.

For each discipline, multiple rewards. For each book, new knowledge. For each success, new ambition. For each challenge, new understanding. For each failure, new determination. Life is like that. Even the bad experiences of life provide their own special contribution. But a word of caution here for those who neglect the need for care and attention to life’s disciplines: everything has its price. Everything affects everything else. Neglect discipline, and there will be a price to pay. All things of value can be taken for granted with the passing of time.

That’s what we call the Law of Familiarity. Without the discipline of paying constant, daily attention, we take things for granted. Be serious. Life’s not a practice session.

If you’re often inclined to toss your clothes onto the chair rather than hanging them in the closet, be careful. It could suggest a lack of discipline. And remember, a lack of discipline in the small areas of life can cost you heavily in the more important areas of life. You cannot clean up your company until you learn the discipline of cleaning your own garage. You cannot be impatient with your children and be patient with your distributors or your employees. You cannot inspire others to sell more when that goal is inconsistent with your own conduct. You cannot admonish others to read good books when you don’t have a library card.

Think about your life at this moment. What areas need attention right now? Perhaps you’ve had a disagreement with someone you love or someone who loves you, and your anger won’t allow you to speak to that person. Wouldn’t this be an ideal time to examine your need for a new discipline? Perhaps you’re on the brink of giving up, or starting over, or starting out. And the only missing ingredient to your incredible success story in the future is a new and self-imposed discipline that will make you try harder and work more intensely than you ever thought you could.

The most valuable form of discipline is the one that you impose upon yourself. Don’t wait for things to deteriorate so drastically that someone else must impose discipline in your life. Wouldn’t that be tragic? How could you possibly explain the fact that someone else thought more of you than you thought of yourself? That they forced you to get up early and get out into the marketplace when you would have been content to let success go to someone else who cared more about themselves.

Your life, my life, the life of each one of us is going to serve as either a warning or an example. A warning of the consequences of neglect, self-pity, lack of direction and ambition… or an example of talent put to use, of discipline self-imposed, and of objectives clearly perceived and intensely pursued.

To Your Success,

Jim Rohn

Lifestyle is style over amount. And style is an art – the art of living. You can’t buy style with money. You can’t buy good taste with money. You can only buy more with money. Lifestyle is culture – the appreciation of good music, dance, art, sculpture, literature, plays and the art of living well. It’s a taste for the fine, the unique, the beautiful.

Lifestyle also means rewarding excellence wherever you find it by not taking the small things of life for granted. With Valentine’s Day approaching I wanted to illustrate this with a personal anecdote:

Many years ago my lady friend and I were on a trip to Carmel, California for some shopping and exploring. On the way we stopped at a service station. As soon as we parked our car in front of the pumps, a young man, about eighteen or nineteen, came bouncing out to the car and with a big smile said, “Can I help you?”

“Yes,” I answered. “A full tank of gas, please.” I wasn’t prepared for what followed. In this day and age of self-service and deteriorating customer treatment, this young man checked every tire, washed every window – even the sunroof – singing and whistling the whole time. We couldn’t believe both the quality of service and his upbeat attitude about his work.

When he brought the bill I said to the young man, “Hey, you really have taken good care of us. I appreciate it.”

He replied, “I really enjoy working. It’s fun for me and I get to meet nice people like you.”

This kid was really something!

I said, “We’re on our way to Carmel and we want to get some milkshakes. Can you tell us where we can find the nearest Baskin-Robbins?”

“Baskin-Robbins is just a few blocks away,” he said as he gave us exact directions. Then he added, “Don’t park out front – park around to the side so your car won’t get sideswiped.”

What a kid!

As we got to the ice cream store we ordered milkshakes, except that instead of two, we ordered three. Then we drove back to the station. Our young friend dashed out to greet us. “Hey, I see you got your milkshakes.”

“Yes, and this one is for you!”

His mouth fell open. “For me?”

“Sure. With all the fantastic service you gave us, I couldn’t leave you out of the milkshake deal.”

“Wow!” was his astonished reply.

As we drove off I could see him in my rear-view mirror just standing there, grinning from ear to ear.

Now, what did this little act of generosity cost me? Only about two dollars – you see, it’s not the money, it’s the style.

Well, I must have been feeling especially creative that day, so on our arrival in Carmel I drove directly to a flower shop. As we walked inside I said to the florist, “I need a long-stemmed rose for my lady to carry while we go shopping in Carmel.”

The florist, a rather unromantic type, replied, “We sell them by the dozen.”

“I don’t need a dozen,” I said, “just one.”

“Well,” he replied haughtily, “it will cost you two dollars.”

“Wonderful,” I exclaimed. “There’s nothing worse than a cheap rose.”

Selecting the rose with some deliberation, I handed it to my friend. She was so impressed! And the cost? Two dollars. Just two dollars. A bit later she looked up and said, “Jim, I must be the only woman in Carmel today carrying a rose.” And I believe she probably was.

Can you imagine the opportunity to create magic with those around you, and all for the cost of a few dollars, some imagination and care.

Remember, it is not the amount that matters but the thought and care that often has the greatest impact upon those you love.

To Your Success,

Jim Rohn